I had a very interesting dream last night. Very inspireing. Before i forgot what it was about i decided to write it down. Keep in mind that this isn't, by any means, a polished piece of work. I simply wanted to get the story down before it left my head. I'm even thinking of trying to turn it into a short story (seeing as a novel would be too much work for me) tell me what ya think of the story so far m'kay.


Before i forget about it i wanted to write about the dream i just had. From what i still remember i was Ranma except that i was at my cousins house in new mexico but that was somehow akane's house. We were haveing a fight like usual and i said something to the effect of that if you don't want me around i'll go home early seeing as i was on the trip i'll be takeing next weekend for my cousins graduation. After a bit more fighting we went our seperate ways for a time to be mad at each other. I ended feeling bad about whatever it was that i said so i went and tucked her in and apoligized and we had a warm loveing hug goodnight.

After i went to go to sleep for the night Vap showed up with some very bad news about the NQIGs and that i needed to get back to denver right away without any kind of hesitation. So we immediatly set off from the ranch on foot without a word to the others. After some time traveling we run across a house with two old people outside and we talk to them for a bit, turns out the federal goverment is haveing an absolutly huge crackdown on all drugs and many other personal freedoms in response to another terrorist attack that happened while i was in new mexico. I asked the couple to take a note to Akane for me as i needed to go to denver and make sure my friends were safe. Suddenly the Feds attacked and we were forced to hide inside the scoop end of a tractor that the couple ended up driveing us north in. Along the way Vap and i discussed the plan to get back to denver seeing as how most major roadways had been blocked and martial law had been instituted. The plan was to get the NQIG's and get them back to the safe house in new mexico.

The couple who had given us the ride also provided us with armor and weapons. Mythril chainmail, 1 full set for Vap. and just a Mythril Shirt for me. Vap was given a curved Broadsword and i was given a great Katana seeing as i was trained in the martial arts of Kendo. After a few hours travel the old couple left us in the middle of a very run down looking city in the middle of the night. We ran into a back allyway right away in order to change into our armor. Since vap had more armor to put on then me i let him go first. In the middle of his changeing armor we saw two young girls, approximatly 16, running by with scared looks in their eye's and torn clothing. Seconds later 3 men came running around the corner. They stoped as the saw the two of us, looking as tho prepareing for battle. The leader steped forward to issue us a warning then suddenly without warning one of his companions launched an attack at me with two daggers in his hands, i parryied then countered with an overhead attack but then noticed the leader going after vap who was still struggling with his chainmail. After loosing my sword free from the little man i made a very clumsy attack at the throat of the leader. He was too slow. I Killed my first man ever. The others seeing in fear what had just happened to their gang leader ran in terror. Neither Vap nor i spoke. We quietly put on our armor gathered our gear and set out in the middle of the night.



More to come methinks, i'll make a few adjustments and probably a back story, lemme know what you think.
- posted by Cyan @ 12:04 PM |

 
Today has been an interesting day. Went to the outback steakhouse service was on par but the food wasn't as good as i remember so i only left an $11.00 tip on a $72.00 order. Went and tried to buy a new piece of RAM for my computer that i've been meaning to buy for some time now, for some reason noone carries (and half the people didn't even know what we were talking about) registered RAM. The true reason for this excursion being that Icy recieved the wrong RAM and wanted to borrow my new stick that i was gonna buy anyway. We finally went to G-Wiz where the guy swore to us that it was registered RAM but when we got home to test it, no dice. So i'm a bit upset (and rightfully so i think) considering that to run duel channel i need identical stick but even more so then that un-registered RAM doesn't even work in my mo-bo. So tommorow we go to correct this problem or get my money back.

Also on the agenda is a list of new anime borrowed from my friend Jason from 28 (inside joke). Among them are Blue Seed, dot hack//sign, and a few others that look promiseing. In turn i'm letting him borrow my recently purchaseed Ranma 1/2 DVD's (other then season 3 and 4, still need to show those to Vap and JTC).

I consider myself well read. More so then most of the people i spend my time with, there is just something about a good book that gets my juices flowing. However yesterday i went to spend the day with my mom and we got to talking, i know she reads much more then i do but i was absolutly blown away when she showed me all the books my grandfather gave her that he doesn't intend to read anymore. We are talking HUNDREDS of books that he has read SEVERAL times, and this is just the stuff he doesn't plan to read anymore not to mention the HUNDREDS of books he didn't buy that he's read. And to top it all off they are all in EXCELLENT condition. To image the joy i've recieved by the mere 4 or 5 different series that i've read compared to the HUNDREDS that he has makes me feel a bit more humble about how much i read and also a bit ashamed of my generation, to think that GOOD literature like this isn't appreciated anymore. It's very sad. Who knows one day i might take a tackel at some of those books in there.

But for now i retire to my current book by Tad Williams, the Dragonbone Chair.
- posted by Cyan @ 1:58 AM |

 
Saw this on Radar's Blog and i loved my answers so i couldn't help myself:



ME CYAN, YOU DEAD!!!!!!

- posted by Cyan @ 11:00 AM |

 
I saw a survery on JTC's live journal page and after a few days of procrastination decided to do it for myself, so here goes.

1. What time do you get up? Anywhre from 10:00am to 4:00pm
2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be? Today Rumiko Takahashi (creator of Ranma 1/2 and Inuyasha) tommorow, who knows who it'll be.
3. Gold or silver? Gold, it's shineier
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Cronicles of Riddik, i think
5. what is your favorite show? I'm gonna have to side with JTC on this one, it's impossible to choose only one.
6. What do you have for breakfast? Lately, Cereal and milk.
7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? Any illiterate and uneducated asshole
8. What/who inspires you? Anime and books
9. What is your middle name? Michael
10. Beach, City or Country? City all the way
11. Favorite ice cream? Cookie Dough or Chocolate chip mint
12. Butter, plain or salted popcorn? BUTTER
13. Favorite color? cyan
14. What kind of car do you drive? a Cyan colored 1990 Jeep
15. Favorite sandwich? Miracle whip, turkey, nacho cheese dorito's (trust me, it's good)
16. What characteristic do you despise? Vanity, or even stupdity
17. Favorite flower? Red Rose
18. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Japan some day, but for now Lake Powell again would be nice.
19. What color is your bathroom? White
20. Favorite clothing? Comfertable pants, (no jeans) loose fitting t-shirt.
21. Where would you retire to? A little outside the suberbs so that everything is near by but don't have too many distubances either.
22. Favorite day of the week? Any day i don't have to work
23. Where did you spend your last birthday? Work (Seriously)
24. Where were you born? Denver, Colorado
25. Favorite sport to watch? Does FFXI count as a sport?
26. Favorite Restaurant? Texas Roadhouse
27. Person you expect to send this survey back first? Omega Bum most likely
28. What fabric detergent do you use? Whatever it is my parents use when i go to their house to do my laundry.
29. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi, especially this new Pepsi Edge is way better then Coke's C2
30. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Refer to Queston #1 and check back a few posts, if you can't figure it out you fall into question #16.
31. What is your shoe size? 14 mens
32. Do you have any pets? No, too expensive in an apartment.

Also after being questioned by a friend at work as to my spending habbits regarding Anime i explained to her the following formula that i have put a bit of serious thought into.

Entertainment is (for me at least) caculated on an hourly basis.

Video games i expect to recieve 1 hour for every doller i put into the game (fair enough considereing the expense to have the compuer on wich to play the games)

Movies, Tv. Anime, and all other forms of visual entertainment i expect to get 1 hour of entertainment for every $5.00 i put into it. useing this formula on a season of ranma, $120.00 meaning i should get 24 hours of entertainment out of 1 season. 1 season is 24, 1/2 hour long episods therefore after watching each season twice ever it has fulfille it's requirment. Same goes for movie's bought on dvd or seen in the theater, although i also add in the talking about a movie afterwards as counting towards a theater movies worth, after all it's entertaining to talk about the movie right?

Books are also calculated on an hourly basis comeing to an average of $.75 to $1.00 per hour for a book to be worth it's salt.

Music and CD's i expect to listen to a song 10 times for every $1.00 i spend on it or it wasn't worth the money.

well sleepy time, Night all
- posted by Cyan @ 1:35 AM |

 
And so i update what is currently going on with life. I have completed my resume and plan to begin putting in applications (resume included) starting next friday (the day i give my 5 weeks notice) yeah i know 5 weeks is a bit much but i want to make sure a sutable replacment is found for me, not to mention plenty of time for job hunting.

Giveing up my ilegal substance was hard at first, i'm proud to say i only kinda cheated once (was in the same room as some others smoked) but that was 2 weeks ago today and i havn't felt any kind of craveing for at least a week so i think i'm good to go.

Couple of weeks ago i decided to buy the first season of Ranma. I had seen the movies and thought that the idea was interesting so i started from scratch. Believe it or not the first time i watched it i wasn't too impressed, but then again i don't speak japaneese and reading subtitles gets old after a while. After i turned on the english it got much better however.

I ended up loosing a complete nights sleep watching the entire first season then last saterday wathed it again with the NQIG's. Same day i bought the second season and lost another nights sleep wathing the horrificaly addictive series. Today (more like yesterday, but i havn't gone to sleep yet) i showed the second season to the NQIG's and bought the third season. If you've noticed a trend yet you can guess why it's 9:30am and i'm still not asleep and instead writeing a blog post on ranma.

3 seasons down, 4 seasons, 2 movies, 1 OAV series to go....

Total expense so far $350.00 expected expense for anime not yet obtained: $660.00

Expensive? YES. Worth it? TOTALLY

True to most it would appear that i have given up one addiction for another but for those who know me well, this is not all that surpriseing. Only difference so far between this addiction and that of my addiction to the Love Hina series is that i'm the one paying for this one.

The reason Ranma apeals to me so much is that truth be told, i wish i could be in his shoes. I am truely envious of Ranma (except for that whole changing into a girl thing, wich even in itself isn't too bad). He's an accomplished martiel artist, confident, strong, and has a girl he loves and who loves him. with a bit of a communication barrier that would be so easy to solve he would have an awesome life. but alas that is the world of fantasy so i must be content to simply cheer ranma on when he finally makes the right decision every once in a while.

Again go figure that this once again leads to my personal desire to get a girlfriend but have had absolutly 0% succes rate in that department. So it's no wonder that i look at those two in the anime and get envyious. Not to mention that one of my possible career goals i'm looking into is a couples/marrige councler (what can i say, i love psycology). Of course to have any success in that i need one, big, basic thing, A FREAKING GIRLFRIEND, that and many years of schooling. The school beign the easier part of that arrangment. Plus who knows, in the process to finding out how to fix other people's problems i miht be abel to figure out whats wrong with me at the same time.

But that's a story for another time, gotta be to work in 6 hours so it's time to try and catch some zzz's.
- posted by Cyan @ 8:31 AM |

 
I know i promise that the next post would be about compareing the relgious experience to that of a drug, but alas i have a few other things on my mind right now that i really think i need to get off my chest. Since last time i checked noone i work with (with the possible exception of the ninja migit) checks my blog on any kind of basis i feel confident that this will not lead to any kind of further situation.

First you find me, a lazy slack off of a bum. Sure i make it look like i'm working hard but the truth is that I'm Hardly working, putting in 60+ hours a week would be a lot harder if i actually gave a damn anymore. I realized that this company don't care about me and the only reason they tried to passify me was so that i wouldn't quit, the only reason they wouldn't want me to quit is because they don't have any kind of replacment for me at the moment. So I let myself get suckered back in, but my work ethic wasn't what it once was, i even did the unspeakable, i turned a customer away because i wanted to go home early, i really hate myself for that one but what's done is done.

I've been slack in my duties, cleaning, makeing pizza's, even purposfully cutting a driver early and keeping an insider late to do my work for me without screwing up labor. I've even stopped counting food at night wich is what brought about the problem at hand. I'm usually very good at guessing what we wasted ect, but last night something was off, 14" thin crusts to be exact, but i assumed it a fluke and skipped over it without further investigation.

That was my mistake. Tonight as we preped to go see the Chronicles Of Riddik (good movie btw) i got called in to see H.G. well low and behold some very serious problem had aroused from the food count that night and there was no way to fix it because i didn't check my shit from the night before. So of course it was my fault and I deservied the yelling that i recieved. But it also confirmed a thought that was running through my mind for quite some time now, i'm not cut out for this job. When i had the choice, Manager/Driver i got power hungry, i wanted to make a difference, i wanted to make a good little bit of cash too.

I dropped out of school so that i could stay in managment, i justified it to myself in so many different ways i couldn't even begin to list them. The happieness faded, so i started to focus on the money, putting in outragous ammounts of over time but they were easier because i didn't put my full ammount of effort into the job anymore.

Because of these reasons i've decided to move on. Heather's Goal is Manager of the year, i believe whole heartidly that she can do it, even go to nationals and compete. But i no longer see myself in a position to help that, as a matter of fact leaving me with the responsibility to run that store in her absence is probably a mistake, as i could not care for it the way that she deserves to have it cared for. Heather deservies to have an assistant who is dedicated to what he/she is doing and willing to do what it takes to meet the goals set forth. I wouldn't even waste 20 minnets of my life just to count food, she deserves better then me. So because of this i have decided to get clean, because truth be told my urine would not test well at this point and looking for a job clean would be the best option avaliable at the current moment.

Hopefully i can re-direct the energy that i spen on drugs back into video games or even possibley a female counterpart. Everyone has an addiction, i feel whole heartidtly about that. For some it's a drug, others love, movies, video games, relgion, they have one thing in their life that they cling to, hopefully mine with change into something a bit more productive and less harmful to the body.

The money i have currently sitting in the bank that i was saveing for a laptop will instead be used in case that i have any time in between jobs where i cam unemployed. The $150 gift certificate given to me by S.J. will remain unused, agian in case i go without income for a while i can still eat.

I want to once agian stress (especially in the case of this being read my one of my superiors) that this has nothing to do with any disagreements i have had with anyone. This is a personal choice that i have made in order to better serve mysely.

Incidentally i started my diet today, looks promiseing so far we'll have to wait and see what happens.
- posted by Cyan @ 2:08 AM |

 
It's always good to know that you have friends around. Icy is back from Vacation so now i have someone that i can pester just about 24/7. As for the contineation from my last post i'm still a bit undecided so i more then welcome feedback via the comments link at the bottom of each post.

First, in order to determine what i myself am looking for in a women it would logically start with looking at what i myself posses that may/may not be desireable to a women. Seeing as the long term goal would be life long companionship getting along with the person and maybe even a few common interests would seem pertint for a happy relationship.

So what do i enjoy? Well my friends are a big part of my life and anyone whom i would chose to share that with would have to get along with them. But that's not really a good place to start looking.

Video Games: Now there is a start, if i could find someone with a common interest in this catagory we would have a starting point to find out more about each other, even better if they like the same type of games as i do.

Anime: I'm a big time/money spending on this stuff, it fills me with a unique sense of joy and makes me feel closer to another culture (not to metion that it's wildly entertaining) a women who can also sit back and watch an anime just to pass the time away would be grand.

Philosophy: Talking in intellectual terms and broadinging your mind into the advanced concepts that can be taken from priors thoughts or something that we come to on our own is one of the most stimulating experiences that i have ever had. It gives me a sense of transendense beyond the ordinary. I would like a women who can at the very least keep up with me or even better give me a run for my money when it comes to Philosophical debate (and one who doesn't care that i can't spell to save my life). that reminds me next post Relegion as a drug, but that's for later.

There are a million and 1 other things in my life that would take forever to explain and that have no simple answer when it comes to compatability, music, books, lifestyle choices and this is just the short list. for now i must bid a fond farewell as it is time for work.

Also you'll notice that never once did i mention looks or attactiveness, the main reason for this is because i belive that in my eye's the person who matches me will be beautiful to me and that's all that matters. And besides i have a favorite quote from Vap and Jim the Cactus' Grandpa that i always refer to. "Every Pussy feels the same."

Quote of the day: Whatever you do, don't get married for sex, but don't get married without it either.
- posted by Cyan @ 2:14 PM |

 
Long time no update, geez my life sure has been hectic. 60-80 hour weeks little sleep, no free time, yeah it's a gast. So what brings me here today you might ask? well other then the fact that i havn't updated in so long it's because of a dream i had last night that stacks up with some of the things that i have been feeling lately.

From what i remember i was at my parents house when a young woman, short with long blonde hair, came up to me, i seemed to recognize the person but probably had never had anything more then a passing conversation with them, yet at the same time i felt as though i had known the person for a while, or at least she knew me. (note: this is where things get a little wierd and don't really follow logic much) the girl was standing next to me and altough i know i knew her name in the dream, when i awoke i forgot (go figure). I went to put my arm around her waist and when i did so she instead jumped into my arms with her hands around my neck. i was a bit surprised by this and then seemed to have a flashback to a time similar to this, while we were 50's style dancing (you know with throwing the women in the air ect.) so i did so, swiriling her around until i caught her with her head laying low and our faces only inchis from each other. She looked into my eye's scared, helpless, as if in surrender she closed her eye's and her mouth parted ever so slightly. Seeing this as a sign i kissed her tenitivly, she responed with an earthshakingly passionate return with bells and whistles and our own rommantic music.

Then i woke up. Damn that was a good dream.

But this of course lead me to one thing (no not masterbation, though i seriously considered it)the contemplation of my current love life, or rather my lack of. January something or other of 2000 my freshman year of high school i got my first serious girlfriend. Tammy had been a close personal friend for many, many years prior, (she lived across the street for crying out loud) after 3 days of dateing i had my first kiss (she was already much more experienced then i was at this time). That same night i got to expericnce much much more, altough truth be told i am still a virgin, not by much. Fast foreward 1 and a half years to our breakup, we both already knew it was over, or at least i had felt so, but rather then have myself break it off (wich i had tried already several times) so i waited until she was the one who finaly had enough and when she tried to come crawling back the next dayi simply stood my ground on that it was her idea in the first place.

1 month later i met Lynn, sweet girl, really, Christian but that was ok since i was going through a particuallary spirtual part in my life, she was 2 years older then me, 18 while i had just turned 16. We had a happy and clean relationship, she had a bit of a lisp wich my friends critizied me for but i really didn't care that i was the only one who could understand her, plus it was a nice difference since Tammy talked all the time and was truly a talented singer, not as talented as she thought she was, but not bad by any means. About a month into the relationship i found out that she had Genitil herpes, doing some research into what herpes was i concluded that i would rather not have sex with this girl, and that was ok since i was a good little christian boy at the time. After about 6 months of basically a dead end relationship i realized that all she wanted from me was money, she lived in a very desitute situation, her father out of the pictuare, her mother disabeld, and not even abel to hold down a job herself she would turn to me for things like transportation entertainment and food. So i broke it off. As usual we got back together again for about 3 days 1 week later, i had a feeling that she had relations with another guy during our break up but that didnt bother me, what bothered me was that she wouldnt' admit to it, but i knew something was wrong, so it ened for good that time, almost 2 and 1/2 years ago.

I wanted another g/f bad but after being rejected by sara and then later again by jainey i decided to take it easy for a while and life without a chick on my arm for a while.

Unfortunatly i gained weight, picked up a few bad habbits, and became extremly depressed before i realized that i was ready to give it antoher go. So far there have been almost 20 different people in the last year and half that i have tried to date, with no success to be found anywhere. Co-workers to people from school and even a couple of extremly embarrasing nights in bars trying to pick up a chick and still i am completly alone. That's probably why i have dreams like that one, a fairy tale girl in a whirlwind kiss on the 2nd floor balcony, yeah it is too good to be true.

Time to rethink exactly what it is i'm looking for in a girl and then figure out how to look for it.

But that's a post for another day, as it is i'm late for work. (Hopefully it won't take another month to post ^^)
- posted by Cyan @ 2:27 PM |