A collection of my thought and events, including the messed up stuff i have to deal with on a daily basis.
Archives
02/01/2004 - 02/29/2004
03/01/2004 - 03/31/2004
04/01/2004 - 04/30/2004
05/01/2004 - 05/31/2004
06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
07/01/2004 - 07/31/2004
Spiney Wisdom02/01/2004 - 02/29/2004
03/01/2004 - 03/31/2004
04/01/2004 - 04/30/2004
05/01/2004 - 05/31/2004
06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
07/01/2004 - 07/31/2004
The Cyan Springer Show
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Comeing to a close with something in your life always makes you think. Good times, bad times, and how you never expected it would end like this.
Today was my meeting with S.J. (Ops. Director) but it was also with M.L. (The owners wife and head of H.R.). All things considered i think it went about as well as could be hoped for. The night before i had talked to H.G. and she updated me as to what information the office had, what Y.Y. had been up to and basically gave me a bit of hope knowing that she at least believed me.
Let me be perfectly clear, i behaved inapropiatly, as a manager i should have known better then to kid around and joke and horseplay the way i did, maybe it was because i had noone to directly supervise my actions, who knows... But i did not do many of the things that i was accused of. Seeing as the situation has now been delt with i feel confident that discussing the details of the acusations is within my decision to make seeing as i was aquited of them (and rightfully so might i add).
First and foremost on my personal concern off these acusations is her claim that i told her, and i am quoteing her words "If i wasn't such a nice guy, you would be my first rape victum." YOWZA it is my personal belief that anyone who would say such a thing obviously isn't such a nice guy and you should definatly be worried, however she has nothing to fear seeing as this did not come from my mouth.
Second on my list of the three most concerning acusations is that i allegedly locked her in the walk in cooler with myself inside with the lights turned off and chased her around for a couple of minnets. Personally i just want to know where the fuck she came up with this one. That just isn't something i would do.
Last but not least on my list of concerning acusations was based on an event that actually happend. A long long time ago her grandfather pased away on her couch, she even saw the body, she didn't come to work for a few day for obvious reasons but after a week or so she told T. that she felt she could return to work. Go figure that it would be on my shift. She had a bit of a nervous break down and started crying, i took her into the office held her hand and talked her though it until she felt better, i offered to allow her to go home but she felt that she wanted to return to work, so i allowed it, that's it, end of story, but if you were to hear her version of it you would hear a tale of this wicked little man who tried to take advantage of her and try to kiss her in her weakened state. Anyone who knows me knows that is just not something that would happen, i have kissed exactly two girls in my lifetime, and each of them would tell you how shy i was how much they had to make it extremly obvious that they wanted to be kissed before i did anything. Yep that's right i'm a hopeless romantic who has to be hit upside the head in order to act on anything like that, and here she claims that i would attempt to do such a thing very much so without her concent and in a situation that to be perfectly honest, doesn't sound like a good time to "Make a move" if you catch my meaning.
Appearently she made a four page, typed report of all the things that have supposibly happened to her since she started working for Domino's and even includs a spot about her sister and her sister's supposed problems with me. Now let me make a rebuttle to that. Her sister and i had a very good friendship both while she was working there and after she left. I even still have a picture that she gave me of herself in my wallet and her college phone number is on my cell phone.
In that report she also named names of people who witnessned these atrocities against her. Although i wasn't given any names of who was said to have said what about what i was informed that each and every single one of them supports me. By either their lack of haveing seen anything or what they did see supported my side of the event. with only one exception but that particular statement was taken within a day of my haveing diciplined the individual so i have a preety good guess as to who it was and that they were not exactly happy with me at the time and may have exaggerated or even lied on thier statement.
The iceing on the cake was that after my meeting they went back and had a meeting with her again, but not until after they had a meeting with just the two of them. Although i wasn't givin the pleasure of haveing witnessed that encounter i am told by many sources that she recieved a lecture that even if it was half as bad as mine was would have had her in tears, and i have reason to believe that she was.
But anyway i had my second meeting that was more lectureing then the first one was and then lead up to someting that i was only half expecting to hear, they actually tried to convince me that i should stay in the managment program even though they were takeing away everything i've worked towards in the last 3 years.
I worked hard to get to the point i was in at my store, but even if i was to stay in managment it would be at a different store because this little bitch got a stick up her ass. I guess it worked out in the end since i wanted out of managment anyways and this just gives me more reason not to reconsider my choice.
I'm moveing on, even i'm not exactly sure what the plan is at this point. Tommorow i'll have to sing some documentation that will be going into my personal file, that of course cant' be shared with another company so it's not like it's going to haunt me or anything like that. I'll be spending the rest of this week at my store after that the last week of my managment carreer will be spent at another store then after that i'll be a driver at J.L.'s stor most likely, who knows with any luck she will quit after not getting what she wanted and i'll be allowed back in my store.
I also have to ask myself though, how do i know she didn't get what she wanted. Attention is very possible, she is a 17 year old female who is i believe the 4th or 5th child of a family that has i believe 8 or 9 children. So chances are that she doesn't recieve a whole lot of attention at home (i know this to be true because she has confided in me about her and another of her sister's fighting and her parents not careing) but also we must look at work as well. Insider's being the people she has the most contact with lets do the rundown, who have a total (including her) of 6 cooks, of those 6, 4 of them had prior contact with myself and each other outside of work before working together. The other insider outside of that group came to be employed because of H.G., they had a history together, i don't know a lot of details i think they were just really good friends for a long time. This of course topped on top of the fact that she is currently the only female insider (the last one got fired for getting into a screaming match with H.G.) must have made her feel isolated from the rest of us.
H.G.'s theory is that in the process of our jokeing and kidding and my attempts to make her feel like "One of the guys" i crossed her personal boundry of what is ok and what is not ok to say and she blew it out of proportion until it reached this particual head. Personaly i think that this theory is sound for a while, until you reach the end of the process. I think that one misplaced comment may have been the ignighter and that after a few days of beign baby'ed and paid attention to and caterd by everyone because of this she started to become obsessed, that's when the wild acusations started and her "fear" and all these other kinds of wild and crazy things started to happen. She fed on the attention she was recieving and didn't want to let it go. She would obsess over it and come to H.G. with something new almost every day just to get the attention. Her lateist thing that happened withing a day or two ago was her "Nightmere's" she had a dream about being in a hunting contest and that she killed two wolf's, one was me and the other was Icy. This is where H.G. started to distrust some of her claims and she even went so far as to shoot herself in the foot. She told H.G. that H.G. and T. told me about all the itimete details of thier sex life and that i even posted them here on my blog as well as told her all about them. H.G. of couse knew this was an obvious lie (after all, she would know if she was telling me about her sex life) but she even went back and read every single post that i have ever made to this blog and even printed it out. For my readers who keep up on what i write you would know that she found nothing of the sort.
So now we have her caught in a lie, her evidence doesn't support her claim and she had obviously exaggerated certin situations, you would think that this would put me in the clear, well no even if it wasn't as bad as she made it seem it was still some stuff that shouldn't have happened at work.
it's over now, this is my final word on it. Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her, i'm not going to loose any sleep over the issue, if she does that is not my fault, i will be moveing on and with any luck within 6 months or so i'll be full time at Sam's and within a year i'll be better off then i was two weeks ago.
Until next time folks, tootls.
P.S. If you look at the time stamp it should say about 4:30 am, so if some of this seemes inchoherent it's because i've been up since 9:00am, had to work at sams, that and i was watcing eminems 8 mile while writeing this, so good night to all.
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
First day at my new employer, but first please note that last night i closed Domino's and was there until about 2:00am, came home, slept and was at Sam's Club by 9:00am. BTW doing the same thing tonight.
anyway orientation was today's topic, gee go fig, you just started the company lets show you around and let you get to know a bit before we throw you to the lions. Actually today was preety painless except for the migrane that started when i had to go to Domino's. The people are all real friendly and most seem to know what they are doing. Only thing that concerns me so far is that in looking around at the cashier's i've seen so far, all of them are female, not that i mind being the only male, but it really does put a cramp in my side and make me feel outta place, kinda reminds me of my first day of high school. 1 guy and 12 girls including a girl leader to show me around. But that was high school, this is now.
After all the paperwork and orientation nescisitys and a 30 minnet food break (a new concept to me, after all there are no breaks in pizza) we all worked individually on our CBL's. That stands for Computer Based Learning (or so i think) i wizzed through about 10 of them in the first hour and a half, tested out of two of them, it's all on the computer wich is nice since i read about twice as fast off a computer screen then i do off of paper, and i type faster then i write so it's all good for me. Tommorow i get to go in at 9:00 again and start my training on the register and probably do a few more CBL's. Never know.
They have been real nice so far in working with my schedule, even though i put open avalibility i told them i wouldn't be putting in notice at my current job until i was guarenteed hired with them, so it's gonna be a tough couple of weeks, Sam's wants me for 35-37 hours, same with Domino's, and unfortuanatly the hours available at each location don't work well with each other so it's going to be difficult for a bit, but after a while it should settle down.
because i'm takeing a cut in pay and hours by switching jobs i've decided to work both, but Domino's will be a part time driver job, i'm still not sure if i want to be at my current store because of the stuff that is still going on because of the sexual harrasment bullshit. I have a meeting with S.J. (Director of Operations and Area Supervisor) on Tuesday to talk about that probably, and because i left him the message last night that i would be steping down. He's probably going to try to convince me to stay but anything less then 20 bucks an hour isn't gonna interest me, i believe that this is a step in the right direction toward becomeing a better person and more financial secure, it may just take a bit.
That's my two cents
Cyan
Monday, July 19, 2004
Hello again and welcome to weekend update with Cyan Magenta, and now here's the host with the most! CYAN!!!!!
Hello there everybody! wow this sure has been an intersting weekend! But first lets take a look back at what happened the previous week. Appearently while at work the other managers T.H. and H.G. who have been together sexualy for a year now got into a pre-marital fight and T. tried to choke H.
Luckily there was a driver near by who pulled him off before and kind of serious damage could be done, this of course was while i was on vacation so by the time i got back everyone was all hush hush about it and noone was talking. While i finally found a squeler after hearing the rumors and got a first hand report of the incident, needless to say i was very pissed. My first instinct was to go and beat the liveing shit out of T. but after some consideration life in the slammer didn't sound very appealing but i vowed that he could not get away with it (wich is what appears to be happening) i was going to file a report with the main office, after all they have to take this very seriously since their takeing the bullshit charges against me so seriously. After thinking about it for a while i realized that i was just pissed cause H. didn't tell me herself even though we have been working together for over 3 years now. She's her own woman and if she wants to continue seeing a man who beats the shit out of her then that's her own perogitive and i have no right to interfer.
In other news Wendsday i had an interview at Sam's Club for a cashiering job, the first interview was at 12:00 noon it went well, looked like they were just trying to weed out the riff raf. they called me back a half an hour later and asked me to come in for a second interview (it's a 3 interview process) at 5:00. this was a problem seeing as i was supposed to be to work at 4:00. Decideing that the possibility of a new job was more important then my current one, especially givin the current state of things, i called work and told them i would be extremly late because i was down in peublo doing a soil test for my parents land out there. They do own that land and they have had tests done that i was present for, it was the timeing and the broken car that were made up.
anyway the second interview went well and they said they call me back in a few days for the third, thursday went by, so did friday and saterday, i was starting to get worried, then on sunday they called and asked me to go in for the third interview today at 3:30, again i'm supposed to be to work by 4:00 but it's monday so being late isn't going to affect anything this much, if this interview is anything like the others it'll be about 1/2 an hour so i shouldn't be too late. Hope it goes well so i can put in my two weeks with this crappy, scragily ass company.
my main concern is still my urine, i've been clean for over 1 month now but i'm not sure how far back they can look, the idea is still to be careful and take like 2 gallons of water before the test in order to dilute the urine so that any trace ammounts will be smaller as compared to the whole speciman and thus harder to dectect.
In final fantasy XI news my Pld hit 44 so i decided to stop for a bit and level my RDM so i can use it as a sub while soloing, but to level rdm i need to level whm to sub the rdm. it's a very instersting conundrum so i paid vap to get my rdm to 10 then soloed my whm up to 11 yesterday, i'll get my whm up to 12 then switch back to rdm and take that all the way to 25, that'll cover me all the way to 50 as my pld, and that's still a very long ways off.
On the road to 11 as my whm i discovered 1 thing for sure, i suck as a whm, it took me so long to get the hang of it and even then i really don't pay enough attention to be palying the class with any kind of resonable efficiency, i would have been yelled at if it weren't for the smn in the party back up cureing with me.
but anyway i need to start getting ready (even if it is still 2 hours away) for the interview, wish me luck and talk to you all later.
This is Cyan singing out, and thats the way the cookie crubles.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
When all you can say is wow.....
Okay gota lots to talk about so bear with me.
Sunday while i was down in new mexico on the ranch i was rideing the ATV, long story short too much oil in it spilled over into the cylinder's causeing them to misfire while i was trying to clime a 60 degree hill with my 4 year old cousin and an 11 year on it with me. When it started rolling backwards i did my best to control the direction to allow a slow decent but it ended up tiping onto the left side. The 11 year old flew off because she wasn't holding on very tight where as the 4 year old who was in front of me flew into my left arm. Thankfully it didn't roll any more then that, if it had more damage may have been done to everyone involved. After it came to a stop (my left shoulder and right leg had a bit to do with that) i noticed that the 4 year old still had a risk of being caught underneath so i pulled him out with my right hand. After he and the other child were clear i used my right left and both my arms to push the ATV back up (against the incline by the way) so that i could get my left foot back out. The ATV rolled a little bit more down the hill before it hit a tree and tiped over again. I checked out the children, the 4 year old wasn't bleading and no bones looked broken so i turned to the 11 years old, she had a gash across the palm of her right hand but other then that she appeared to be fine. I examined the sight to try to determine the cause of the accident, took note of what it looked like and put the ATV back together, walking woud have taken 2 hours where as the ATV was about a 15 minnet ride takeing it as slow as we were.
Total Injury's: 4 year old only had a few scratches on his back (probably from when i dragged him out from under it) the 11 year old had a few scratches and the 1 cut on her right hand from a rock she landed on. Myself.... about a 3x3 inch area on my left shoulder that no longer has skin, quite a few scrathes along my left arm. 1 long cut on my left leg that i didn't even notice until i got in the shower to wash all the oil off. And so many sore muscles from lifeing a 500 pound ATV off of my against an incline i'm surprised that i can walk at the moment.
Considering the potentiol for injury's in a rollover accident of that nature the fact that we all made it out with as few injury's as we did is surpriseing. Most around there thanked God and me for being there, when truthfully anyone with a basic understanding of physics and a quick mind would have done virtually the same thing with most likely a similar outcome. The hero praise was really annoying seeing as it was, in all accounts, my fault for the accident so i left that night rather then waiting till the morning, too bad i forgot to bring the corn dogs back with me, ohh well.
Re-enter the world of hell that i've been going through for quite some time now. One of the girls at work has decided to file some very serious (and very bogus) sexual harassment claims against me. I'm not sure how legally this website could be used if this goes to court so i'll keep it broad, i didn't do anything even close to what she has claimed i've done to her, she has offered no evidence or witness for her calims, and i think it's bullshit the way the company has been treating me so far in these procedings. Whatever happned to innocent until proven guilty, guess that doesn't fly when it's a man allegedy doing somehting to a women.
I'd love to get into specifics and maybe even try to figure out her motive for doing all this, but again the legality issue since this is a public blog so i'll just have to keep my speculations to myself. They are even talking about transferring me to a different store, even though this has been my store for over 3 years now, but just because one little girl with some allegations that havn't been proven gets a stick up her ass my hard work and dedication means nothing.
On the bright side i caught a little wind of this before i went on vacation, at that time she hadn't even provided any details but just to be on the safe side (keep in mind, there any many innocent men in jail at the moment) i put in my application and resume to a couple of different companies before going on vacation, today one of them called me back and tommorow i'm going in for an interview. I'm so fed up with this company right now that i'll probably take any offer that's at least as good as i'm makeing right now, maybe even a little bit less and just get a pizza driveing job to make up the difference, stick with what ya know if ya know what i mean.
Otherwise life is great. My story is comeing along well, i'm very happy with it, i'm gonna try to finish it before the year is over, especially if i can get a set schedule and get into a better routine. Everyone around me says i look like i'm loosing weight, i hope they arent' lying to me, i've done a good job of simply eating less but if i get a desk job my metoblisim might go down slighty so i may have to re-adjust agian.
well 12 hours to go till the interview, i think i'll read a bit (gameing just isn't the same since my chair broke, and i can read on my bed.) the get plenty of sleep, the only question that i'm a bit worried about that is on my "tough interview questions" list i got back in high school is "What would you consider are your weakness" Honesty is the best policy of couse but the trick is to put a positive spin on it and make it look like a work in progress, the problem is how do you put a positive spin on lazyness. Maybe i shoudl come up with a less harmful and easier to spin weakness as my prepared answer.
Any suggestions would be appreciated, i'll check this before i leave in the morning, in the meantime goodnight all and wish me luck tommorow.
Cyan
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Yo yo yo what up all you g's out there! This is Cyan comeing to you live from the home of NOTHING!! That's right i'm down here in New Mexico crashen at my unc's crib yo. Lemme tell you dawg there aint nothin goin on down here. Yo check this i showed up and everyone was all like yo dawg, glad you could make it, and i was like whatev.
Ok so i'm really bored, wouldn't be so bad if Icy had left his laptop out for me to borrow like he said that i could. I'm only here for a couple of days so i guess i can tough it out. Besides it's good to be here for the only other person in my family (for this generation at least) who is going to graduate (i did my thing last year). My younger brother is hopless and i already have two cousins who dropped out. So it's good to congradulate this cuz in her accomplishments.
Watching language is hard, lemme tell ya, especially since most of the people i'm around are extremly relgious and offending them while i'm a guest just doesn't seem right. I hear them talk about church and how it makes them feel good and how their congragation is growing and how they are going to spend a butt load of money of building a new church to hold all the people and i think to myself, people, if you wanna feel good while wasteing your time, do herion, it's cheeper then a new church. But that's another story all together.
Trying to quit smokeing again, really hard tho when everyone around you is smokeing all the time cause that's the only thing to do around here. If we can find a specilty cigerette store in town tommorow i might some of those dark mint camels that matthews was telling me about, couldn't hurt. It'll be easier to quit once i get back and have other things to do with my time.
By the way this is gonna be a really long post about mostly gibberish since i'm really bored right now, i should go sleep or something but for some reason that just isn't appealing to me right now.
Too bad i don't have Icy's laptop, this would be the perfect time to work a bit more on my story, but alas we once again reach the part where i am computeless (except for this slow POS with only a dial-up connection) and thus unable to continue the story.
Or maybe i could just do it here in my blog and that way i could write and just copy/paste it back when i get home. I remember where abouts in the story i was so doing so won't be too hard, i'm just not sure how i feel about showing only a piece of my work on the internet.
ahh well screw it, at the very least i can write a summery of what is about to happen next.
So the main character walks out of the apartment and heads over to the officel NQIG hq wich is really just an internet cyber caffe, with virtual reality.
He goes in and assembles the NQIG's for a "Training Exercise" because of the neural uplink (secured by Icy and Squigs to allow no goverment spying) the virtual reality simulation can feel almost as real as life.
He takes his "Team" and they play a game similar to firearms or counter-strike against other people in order to enhance their skills with their weapons of choice. Detail into the fight and how the goal of the team is to play out the "Map" without anyone dieing, treating it like a real life situation. and how the team is considered one of the top ranked team in this game worldwide. Little does anyone know that they are training for live combat, so they had better be ready. Lots and lots of details about the fight and how badass everyone in NQIG is especially our main character who gets named somewhere along the way.
maybe i should have Nelina show up towards the end of the battle and have her appearence be the one thing that gets Cyan killed, kind of as a forshadowing effect. or he could just meet up with her afterwards.
but anyway my mom just yelled at me to quit typeing and go to bed, it's 2am down here after all and i'm keeping a lot of people awake (they don't have the nifty keyboard i have that's wireless and makes almost no sound) so i bid you all a fond farewell.
Cyan
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Considering my ocupation (assistant manager at a pizza place, for now at least) i though that this was just tooooo funny.
Monday, July 05, 2004
Happy 4th of July everyone, 228 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independance. In other news my story about big-brotherism and an anti-goverment clan is well under way.
Not much to say, work sucks, vacation soon, good porno and bad movies. ohh and some more of these really cool things.
hmm reminds me of Riddik for some reason.
Ahh if only real life could be this way....
How true it would be....
Friday, July 02, 2004
I'm a sucker for this stuff and i love the results i get.
We also have this one.
Kinda boreing answers but hey whatever works right.
well this is actually my dream from yesterday, blogger stoped working when i tried to post it yesterday so i'm posting it now.
This seems to be the week for wired (but strangly enjoyable) dreams.
Last nights was short but sweet, i was either married, or just simply liveing with (not qutie sure) this girl named Dawn. (she was the girl i had a huge crush on begining of senior year). without realizeing it i had become more and more addicted to my video game, t.v. series, anime and even pot. somehow in the midst of all this i had forsaken the one thing i wanted more then anything else in life (or at least that's how i feel right now) and she had left me, and i didn't realize it because i focused on all those other things and forgot about her. I went though one of those fix your life and get everything streight type of scenario's and then tried to get her back. letting her know how ashamed i was to have forsaken how much she loved and let her know that i really did love her in return.
and then i woke up.
Damn do i need a girl.
